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Still hoping w4m Today was a reminder of why I need to continue to work for you. Rather, I physiy do not work for you, but I have undergone a project to try to gain your respect and attention. It was of the most random topics in conversation to come up and I honestly didn't think it possible. But it did. Today I was talking to my father about having to go overseas for a job and oddly he brought you up. Even though he does not know that I actually have a bit of a crush on you, it was still peculiar that he should mention a recent situation that you had gone through. Out of anyone else he could have brought up....Maybe he's worried about me going overseas and fears I will end up in one of those countries experiencing civil war right now, I don't know. It was so odd though. However, I think my life has started to paint this map and I'm kind of almost unwillingly following it. Hopefully you know that Rascal Flats song where he mentions that the stars are pointing him in the right direction... It's like that here. Every time it seems I want to forget or I "get off topic", I end up being quickly reminded. Somehow I can't get past it. A few of my friends think I'm crazy, and two of them who actually live there in NY believe in me. Their support has helped me.
I refuse to leave where I live, but my financial situation is dictating that I am going to have to leave for another year again and go overseas. Hawaii was my choice, but that was before I knew I that I even could feel anything for you. I just hope that if we ever meet, you're as good as you are and sweet as in my dreams and not some jerk or something. That would be a shame that if I've wasted all this time in having a crush on you, that you're a complete ass.
Anyhow, as I'm taking a bit of a break from my project to clear my head and conjure up better ideas, I decided I would write to you my thoughts tonight. My ultimate hope would be that even before I finish my project you somehow end up contacting me, but that is not realistic and that is why I have to be so perfect with my project. It's kind of one of those one time risks, and the worst that can come out of it is that you never notice or if you do and you turn me down. I think I will be okay, and it won't be a waste or in vain because what I feel is genuine. I don't want to be seen as one of your typical stalkers. After Hawaii I ended up back home, however oddly I've acquired several job offers in NY. I'm not ready to leave home yet. (Not physiy with my parents, but here a bit south of the mason dixon is my home.)
Anyhow, I always carry the hopes that you might see this. I really don't know what else to write, but I'm still waiting for you. It's all I want to do, and I really only do what I want. That's why I left the military 4 years ago, I just don't like being held to something I don't enjoy. I wasn't able to do what I want or live where I want. I need to have control of my own future, so if I choose to make a mess of it on my own, I can do that.

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hi guys! w4m So wouldn't you know there are dechot girls out there who cant seem to get laid as easy as it is made out to be.